Achievement unlocked

Just...feel...unlocked!

At first, I believe that I'm a shy girl which can't speak out.
I'm afraid to speak out what I thought in public, to avoid any confrontation with people.

But through my company (that I worked for now) I'm changing.
Too much problem that I can't handle at first and too many kind of people with different behavior made me feel that I can't just stand and see what happen next.

Clearly remember in my head, I'm crying, literally crying when have the first meeting with her. The sister of "you know who". While some people must be think that I'm weird, since she's only just a piece of cake rather than her sister. But I feel really stupid and can't understand anything about my job. That's miserable.

And the other crying incident that involved another department, and another crying which also involved another department. And one and one another, whoa too much?

But mostly I'm crying because I'm too angry. I can't express my self, I can't express my feeling freely. Just too hard to speak anything (once I hoped that they can understand that I'm angry not a whiny girl, but I'm sure that they don't).

Now, I can proudly present every people a largest smile that I had. Since I've already beat her! whoa! I mean I can speak and explain what I thought without intimidating. That's really a progress...for me. Just can't believe that it's really happen and silly me I kept tell everyone about my story, which I know that not everyone are pleased to hear my story.

But still....achievement unlocked!
Can't described my feeling, I feel blessed and happy and and and more happy hahahaha! :)

Cheers!

Comments

Kematangan

Saya selalu suka membaca tulisan Uni Hesty di instagram. Seseorang yang sedang berusaha menyelesaikan study phd nya di negeri kangguru. Saya tidak kenal dia, saya hanya mampir ke profilenya setelah mendapatkan info dari Amrazing. Tulisannya manis, bisa bikin senyum sendiri sepanjang hari. Satu hal yang saya salut, dia menikmati semua waktunya yang tidak pasti bersama dengam orang yang dia sukai. Dia mengutarakannya dan tetap berada di sisinya meskipun orang yang dia sukai memberikan warna abu abu. Bukankah itu berat? Seperti tau dengan adanya penolakan tapi tidak dibarengi dengan pengusiran. Masih menjadi teman diskusi, bercanda dan melewati hari. Saya selalu terharu membaca setiap tulisannya. Sudah bukan roman picisan ala jaman anak SMA. Dia sudah matang secara perasaan. Send all warm regards to you mba, tetap bahagia ya :')

dresses

desain baju awal *source: om google* hasil masukkin kain ke tukang jait yah beda tipis. tipis beda. beda renda. beda saku. beda bahan. beda total -___- fyi gara gara bikin ini baju, 4 taun lalu gue ga dapet baju lebaran. uang kain sama uang jahit bahkan lebih mahal jaaaauh dibanding jatah duit lebaran yang mau dikasih ibu. dan asal lo tau sampe sekarang baju ini cuma kepake sekali doang. sekali selama 4 tahun. what the heck are you doing cil hah sok gaya mau ikutan cosplay nyatanya gapernah sekalipun -.- yah apa mau dikata, that's so me. suka membuat hal baru bahkan yang useless sekalipun.

Jalan Masa Depan

Tetiba kepikiran sama pekerjaan yang sekarang. Suka banget sama kantornya kenapa? Karena kerjaannya bukan? Atau sama orang orangnya? Atau karena peraturannya? Selama ini suka banget sama orang orangnya. Rasanya bukan kayak berangkat kantor tapi berangkat main. Kalo misalkan mereka ngga ada dan tergantikan gimana? Aku ngga siap kayaknya :') Satu udah pergi, satu lagi juga mau pergi. Yang satunya belum tentu bakal ada disitu terus. Rasanya pengen bilang kalo udah disini aja ngga usah kemana mana. Tapi masa depan kan di tangan masing masing, ngga bisa ngikutin, ngga bisa dipaksain. Pada akhirnya semua akan ada di jalan pilihannya sendiri. Manusia memang makhluk sosial, tapi juga bukan tempat untuk bergantung. Harus belajar ikhlas. People change anytime. Dijaga aja kenangannya biar ngga pudar :')

no grievance, bye grievous!

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